Hell of Helheim
by Ichigo to Hana
Summary: Third installment of the Hell-Series. Ever wonder how Bucky survived being Winter? And how does Death fit into the equation?
1. Prologue

**PROLOGUE**

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters except my own.

* * *

They had strapped him down. Again. He had long since lost count. It was so bright. The light. Doctors probed at his arms. Syringes connected him to – his arm hurt. He turned his head to look at it. This was not what it was supposed to look like, was it? All metal. Gear latching into gear. Not an arm. A machine. Deadly.

Around him doctors scribbled away on their clipboards. No one bothered looking him in the eye. They were too busy checking and writing and – writhing. No. That was not the right word. What was the word? His thoughts stumbled over fragments of things half remembered. Snowy mountains. The feeling of falling. Then cold. So very cold.

He looked around. Along the walls, guards stood on alert. Only they watched his every movement. In case he did…what? It had to be some reason they were here. He couldn't remember. Anymore.

When had he started complying? Words faded in and out of his mind. Either memories or fragments of former tests. Languages? Did he understand the doctors? Did they always speak that among themselves? When did he learn their language? He was sure he hadn't always understood them. Not in the beginning when…

The days blurred into one another. Another day, another test. Pain. That he could remember very clearly.

Pain from cutting off the stump of his arm. Searing through his veins relentlessly for days.

Pain from infusions knocking him out. Headaches when he awoke.

Pain from his new arm. His shoulder. Burning pain.

And in-between, the nothingness that encompassed his brain as soon as he found sleep. Or bouts of erratic resistance. Last attempts. A caged animal, rebelling. If the nightmares didn't hunt him. Scared blue eyes flashed before his mind's eye. A voice full of agony called out to him. The words he couldn't make out. Not anymore. The memory faded. And with it a low groan escaped him.

The straps cut into his flesh as he flexed his muscles. His back arched. Instantly he had everyone's attention. Stillness fell over the room. They stared at him with…fear? Expectancy? Hunger? Maybe. Guards, hands on weapons. Ready. But, why?

He couldn't remember any longer. His eyes closed of their own accord. The buzzing dimmed to a faraway memory. A memory he would forget, as he seemed to forget everything.

Someone watched him. Watched him intently.

Slowly he forced his eyes open. They were used to being pressed close to block out the pain. Not that it helped. Bright light. Doctors plugged new catheters into him. His head was strapped into some kind of contraption. No one watched him. Maybe it was just his imagination…

And her.

A female in a white lab coat. Irritatingly white. Luminescent? She lingered in the twilight. Just behind the bustling staff. No one talked to her. No one but him seemed to notice her. Her midnight hair spilled in cascades over – he had never seen such green eyes. That he was sure of for once. Even if he couldn't remember why... She looked pale. Maybe new? A new attendant? Unused to this? He couldn't focus on her. Maybe cold, his brain supplied. Maybe ill.

A strange sense of urgency pulled at his gut. Told him to do something. Do…help… Why?

The doctors ceased moving. The woman stepped forward and his mind seemed to clear. Her smile was comforting, but not warm.

"Who are you?", she asked quietly. He looked at her mutely. What a strange question? He didn't… He remembered. "James Buchanan Barnes." His voice hurt. He hadn't spoken so long.

"Good. Good, soldier," she soothed. "You've hold out so long. Been so brave. I have to admit, I am impressed." The woman stepped into the circle of too bright light he was surrounded by. He flinched. Her skin was icy-blue, the eyes burned with sunset red. The black locks curled around her face like snakes.

"What?!" he rasped.

Bright eyes widened slightly before a smirk tugged at her lips. "You can see through my illusion. Not bad. Not many mortals can achieve this." Her eyes twinkled. "I am the goddess of death. And I have a proposition to make."

Conscious thought along with fragments of memories returned to him. _I fell into an abyss. In the mountains._ "Death. I should have died then." The goddess remained calm: "But you didn't. You survived. Until now. However, if they finish this test on you, you'll cease to exist. What remains will be their loyal hound. An empty shell ready to fulfil each command they give."

He looked up at her with fear. His memories told him that these people were trying to make him what his best friend had become. Only worse. So much worse. And then… "He thinks I'm dead."

"He does. And he will get over it."

"Free me!"

She looked down at him as he writhed in his contraption. Death seemed to know something he didn't. "I can't." Her voice sounded small, broken, even though her face didn't let it on. "I cannot kill them. Their time hasn't come. And I can't free you, because it would alter not only your fate, but his as well. Nothing good has ever come from that, trust me." Death looked down at him with sad eyes.

 _She speaks of experience_ , his suddenly waking brain supplied. However, he decided against saying anything to Death. And so, she continued: "The only thing I can give you is a shot at a future. A future free of all this. Free – and with loved ones." His eyes found hers again. They stared at each other. Two unlikely allies.

 _How do I know you won't just kill me?_ The unspoken question hung in the air between them. "Your time hasn't come yet. I promise, I am merely here to help you. Fate has a strange way of waving the net. Your time hasn't come. You need to live through this." She raised her chin defiantly. Despite her name and appearance, Death seemed honourable. He watched her silently for another minute. "You resisted so long. Far longer than anyone else," Death emphasized. "Let me help you."

He nodded then. Once.


	2. Brave Soldier

**CHAPTER 1**

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters except my own.

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CHAPTER 1 Brave Soldier

Hel looked out over her realm. Helheim looked gloomy these days. Fewer souls came to her and even less wanted to settle close to the palace of their goddess. _Sometimes I really miss the times of the plague. Or the Midgardian Wars. Endless supply of new minions… Never boring. Always someone to scare close by. I just had to put on this ridiculous façade of the two-faced goddess mortals associate me with. Why would death look like a youth-corpse hybrid anyway? Nowadays I can barely get a hand on a good old-fashioned thief without the Valkyries interfering._ The young woman heaved a sigh. If only there was someone around to talk to – who was not a ghost frightened of her appearance or ridiculously stuck-up for that matter.

"Your Ladyship," someone behind her said. Hel turned and came face to face with the ghost of a palace guard she had acquired sometime in the early centuries of humankind. She had to admit, she liked him. He was calmer than most ghosts, not nosy, knew when not to bother her.

"What is it, dear?" the goddess purred. "Trouble with ghosts?" Her sweet tone was nothing to be fooled by. Hel was ruthless when it came to her duties. The guard shook his head shortly. "No, my Lady. On the contrary: He is back."

And just like that a bright smile raced over the young woman's features. With a light giggle, Hel bounded away from the guard without even giving him any words of thanks. _If he's back, then my day just got so much better! Finally, something is happening._

Around her, Helheim seemed to glow with the joy its ruler felt. "He's back, he's back," Hel said to herself in a singsong voice. "He's back and ready. Finally."

She stopped dead in her tracks, eyes blown wide. "Oh no," Death whispered. "He is back…" Within a second her whole demeanour changed again. Black locks billowing like a cape behind her, skin turning icy-blue, eyes sparking with sunset-red, Hel almost ran down the hallway. She skipped down the steps and skidded around a corner, ignoring the banging coming from one of her well-guarded dungeon cells until she found the thing she was looking for.

The cat was curled up in one of the dark corners. Blazing eyes squinted up at the young woman before her. Yellow fur bristled slightly under the intense gaze of Death. "I require your service," Hel told the cat. A slow blink later the cat raised itself to its paws, tapping behind her commander.

They went back up until they were only one level belowground. Hel didn't slow down or turn around to check, if the cat was still behind her. She could hear the soft pads of paws on stone that was reassurance enough. The closer they came to their destination the more profound the nervousness twisting Hel's insides became. _What will I find? He has hold out longer than anyone before. His mind is starting to take damage from the process… I just hope I can keep him around long enough to get him back where he belongs._

The door was marked with a Nauthiz and Berkano rune. The first looking like a cross with the vertical scratch slightly askew, the other looking like an edgy letter B. Hel traced them lightly. "Need, survival, growth, new beginnings," she mumbled to herself. "May the signs be with you, brave soldier mine." Carefully Hel shoved the door open.

The chamber behind was dark, void of any light. A cot with grey sheets was pushed against the wall – it was empty. Her heart skipped a beat. _Did he flee? Where would he run?_

Ragged breathing filled her ears the second she stepped deeper into the small room. Hel whipped her head around, sending her dark locks flying. There he was. Nestled in the corner of his room, curled into a small ball and hiding his head between his arms, crouched Sergeant Barnes. His breath seemed to echo in the otherwise empty space between them. Loud, even in Hel's ears, detecting the agony he tried to reign in before she spoke and possibly broke his control.

"Welcome back," Death quietly offered. Bucky's head snapped up so fast, she feared he might break his mortal bones. Looking in his eyes was even more painful than just seeing how small he – a grown man almost two heads taller than her – tried to make himself. Steel blue eyes swam, his cheeks wet with tears already shed. "They made me do it again," was all he could say before ducking back into hiding. His voice cracked and broke into a sob at the end of the sentence.

"Would you like to be alone for a little longer?" she asked calmly. "I brought Milly in case you'd prefer her presence to mine." Hel willed herself to look away from him. She didn't like people seeing her weak; he was the same, sometimes. _If I am completely honest with myself, no one ever really wants me around them unless I can be of any use to them or they are too afraid to send me away… And he has more than one good reason to either need company or despise mine._

Bucky remained silent for so long, the young woman almost decided to go of her own volition. She gave the cat a sign to stay as she turned towards the door. "Will it get easier?" His voice sounded raw. Death looked back at the mortal man over her shoulder. They both knew she could lie right now and be done with. She could tell him the sky was green and he would probably believe her depending on how long he would stay in her realm.

Instead, Hel gave a heart-broken smile. "It always gets harder before it becomes easier, brave soldier mine." Bucky nodded slowly. The gears in his head were visibly turning. "Stay," he finally said. Just that one word, in a voice small and powerful at the same time. Broken and reborn. Just like him.

Hel stepped closer to him, got on her knees in front of him. Bucky didn't shy away. She was possibly the only person – if you could call the goddess of death that – he trusted enough to let her get close to him. Slowly, Hel stretched out her hand and laid it on top of his. "You are so strong. So unbelievably strong."

A disbelieving huff.

"I mean it. I tried to keep them all down here. Allow their spirits a break from being systematically broken down. Let them regain their strength to someday take over completely again. To be human once more. And see where it brought me." Her lips curled in disgust. "Each of them bringing more souls for the Valkyries than I could ever dream of, just because a decree states, that anything HYDRA does is an act of war."

"You truly are a generous goddess."

"Huh, don't flatter me. I don't need it. We both know, I am not generous I am only in on it to stop unnecessary wins for the Valkyries. As if a single mortal soul would interest me. I care about my books and currently those are rapidly losing entries thanks to your new buddies."

Bucky recoiled slightly, backing himself more into the corner, as Hel openly snarled. Immediately she drew back as well, opening space between them. "I am sorry." The young woman brushed her hair out of her face. He looked up at her. Death tended to shift quickly between emotions in one conversation. "It's like a nightmare," Bucky whispered. "Only you can't wake from it. In your head you're screaming and begging to stop – but your body still goes through with it." New tears threatened to roll down his cheeks. "It's a miracle you still want to have me. I know I wouldn't."

Hel crossed her arms over her chest, eyes dangerously narrowed. "Don't say such foolish things. The ant has no quarrel with the boot. Whatever Winter does, you are not responsible for it. Remember that." _Besides, it's only a matter of time until you overcome him. I made sure you could do it. Trust me, Bucky._

Her soldier met her gaze. Unbelievably broken. "I still feel like I am responsible for it," he rasped out. "It's my body doing these things. It's me inside that monster. Plain for everyone to see." Death pursed her lips unwillingly. "They twisted you. They dug their claws into your soul and corrupted it. Those are the demons you mortals are afraid of. HYDRA is to blame. Not you. You, you are stronger than all of them combined. You endured twenty years of torture before I whisked you away. You spent the next fifty years fighting against that thing they planted inside you." Hel growled in the back of her throat. "Don't even think for a second, that I would abandon you just because you killed. If you ever disrespect the goddess of death like that again I just might feel inclined to drop you. You are mine. You are mine until you can be yours again."

Bucky stared up into the wild face of Hel. Her teeth bared in an inhuman snarl, her hair curling like snakes around her face and her eyes quite literally burning. She still wanted to keep watching over him… He couldn't believe her. "What will happen, if I'm mine again?"

Hel blinked in surprise. The question was not unexpected, just not expected. Not immediately after a breakdown. She got up and moved to sit on the cot. As soon as she sat, Milly jumped into her lap, Hel's fingers automatically moving to pet the cat. _Who would have thought that in the end I am the one in need of the therapy-cat?_ she wondered. The intense stare levelled at her didn't waver. Bucky stayed right where he was, motionless, thinking, observing. "What happens, if you return to be a healthy little mortal," Hel repeated the question. "I don't know. Normally you'd forget whatever happened down here. On the other hand, you spent such a long time in this realm it might have latched onto your soul, thus you could retain some of your memory…"

"Has it happened before?"

"Not in any form like this, brave soldier mine. The other victims moved on to farther planes, not wishing to return to their mortal shells. And I cannot remember anything like this happening before."

 _He might forget me. He might forget everything. Everything from the past fifty years. At least, consciously._ Hel felt faint. Her stomach twisted, her hands got clammy. What was happening? She was having an emotional reaction? This was purely about business, about breaking the Valkyries dominance for Helheim's sake!

"Are you feeling alright?" Suddenly Bucky was next to her on the cot, feeling her forehead. "What? Why?" He looked her in the eyes and shrugged: "I don't know… It felt right to do it? Like an impulse." The confusion on his face alarmed Hel more than any other reaction might have. "You are forgetting your life before Winter. May have already forgotten it."

She jumped off the cot, resulting in a very annoyed cat. Without giving Milly a second look, Death started pacing across the room. "It's not supposed to happen. Not yet. I was careful, I did everything right." She stopped, her head snapping back around to Bucky. "Write everything you can remember from before down in notebooks. No matter what, just make sure you can keep those memories. Keep fighting and try to override Winter. You're stronger than him, trust me."

"Calm down." Bucky reached for her then let his hands drop back into his lap. "I didn't forget anything. It was just an impulse to check your wellbeing. You know, from looking after him." Despite the serious topic, the young woman couldn't help but notice how flustered her brave soldier looked. _Okay, false alarm. I hope he'll look the same when he has him back. It really is their biggest dream after all._

They remained silent for a few moments, simply soaking in each other's presence until Bucky finally looked back at Hel, the tiniest of grins on his face. "So, I was your first?" Hel groaned and hid her face in one hand. "Of all the things you could have said." _It's good to see he can still smile. Even, if it's at my expense._

"Say, what are you going to do about your hair?" she added after a look at the locks of her soldier. Bucky touched the strands framing his face thoughtfully. "I kind of got used to them." Hel decided against commenting on that. It was his hair after all.

* * *

It was the last time she would see him with even the resemblance of a smile.

The years passed by in a blur. The panic attacks didn't calm down, but her soldier learned to cope with them, clinging to Milly and breathing deeply. He told Hel to leave him alone after he returned. Even, if it hurt the young woman more than she let on, she kept her distance. Hel allowed him to calm before she stepped into his chamber – only to be sent out yet again because he didn't want to talk to her. Almost frantically he scribbled down everything he could remember into notebooks Hel had promised would transcend into the real world with him, if he so wished. Those were their only interactions.

Hel's temper was foul in these years, Helheim growing darker again with the temper of its ruler. Souls came and she spared them no glance, dishing out punishments whenever she felt like it. Helheim slowly but surely turned into the dark, bland landscape humankind believed it to be and Hel couldn't bring herself to care.

Sure, the trips to Midgard and Asgard for her father's amusement were not without merry; still they only were a temporary distraction. Soon Hel didn't feel like visiting Asgard either. _Dad will be busy with ruling and legitimizing himself as the rightful king in his own eyes_ , she told herself time and time again. _Maybe he will come around one night just out of nowhere. Like he always does._

It didn't make it any better. And Loki never came. Not even sneaking after her brave soldier to see Bucky overriding Winter from time to time was satisfying any longer.


	3. Winter

**CHAPTER 2**

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters except my own.

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CHAPTER 2 Winter

Hel stood calmly at the edge of a balcony overlooking her realm. Everything looked ashen, as if there had been a wildfire just recently. Skeletons of trees stretched their thin fingers into the air, no visible settlings as far as Hel's eye reached from the palace. None of the ghosts wanted to be close to their goddess anymore. _And they are right to be afraid._ Hel's sunset-kissed eyes narrowed. She no longer bothered with keeping up her illusions. Her black hair whipped around in supernatural winds, the plain before her eerily quiet in comparison.

"Your Ladyship," someone behind her said. Hel turned and came face to face with the guard she had killed so her father could ascend the throne without any disruption. He was the last ghost left, who dared to come close to her.

"What is it?" the goddess glared at him. "Trouble with some ghost? Does anyone dare defy their goddess?" Her sharp tone would make any normal ghost cower at her feet. Only the guard seemed unruffled by it, having seen a lot of her temper in his undead life to be shocked by anything anymore. Hel was ruthless when it came to her duties and he knew it. So instead, the guard shook his head shortly. "No, my Lady. On the contrary: He is back."

Hel raised a single eyebrow in mild interest. "Thank you for the information." The young woman turned her back on the guard to resume staring out over her realm. _So, my soldier is back. Fine. They put him back under._

"He has requested your presence, your Ladyship," the guard went on. Well. That was new. Hel pursed her lips. "I'm busy. Tell him to ask for me another time." It was petty of her, she knew that perfectly well. _But I am a goddess for Odin's sake. I refuse to jump at the beck and call of a puny mortal. He seemed perfectly fine without my help all this time. Why should he need me now of all times?_ Hel lifted her chin defiantly. "Send Milly to him and he'll be perfectly fine." _He isn't ready yet._ The goddess quickly sent her senses out towards another soul. _And neither is he._

Behind her, the guard shuffled nervously. That was a first. "Your Ladyship," he began but stopped himself from saying anything else. Hel looked back over her shoulder, eyes narrowed. "What is it? Out with it or be gone. I don't have time for long winding protocol." A nod. Slightly shaking. _Goodness, am I that bad to talk to?_ A small grin lifted the corners of her mouth. _Hm, let's hope so. It would be utterly boring, if my mortal playthings didn't show any reaction to me anymore._

"It is not my place, to give you any kind of advice."

"That's right. So don't. Or else feel the consequences."

"But in this case, your Ladyship, I feel it is inevitable for me to try and if you would take my advice, your Ladyship, I would meet with him. He is barely keeping it together. It seems those humans made him do something so terrible he lost his will to fight altogether."

A dagger flew directly at his chest. Hel's eyes burned with an inner fire, a too bright smile tugging at her slips. "Oh, how I missed this," she cooed as the dagger stuck in the chest of her ghost guard for a second before clattering to the ground. Her guard seemed a bit shaken but quickly recovered or pulled the mask of indifference back over his features. "So, you want me to meet with him?" Hel toyed with a new dagger, the other already disintegrated. "Fascinating."

Hel turned her back towards the guard. It was tempting to just shut everything down before it even started. But something crept up on her. Something, that told her to try and mend things with her soldier. _Hm, if I want to distract myself, maybe seeing my soldier won't be such a bad idea after all?_ she mused. With a dramatic flourish worthy of her father, Hel turned back towards the guard. "Alright. Send him to the throne room. I'll be expecting him."

As her soldier entered the throne room for the first time since his arrival, he found Hel sitting on her throne, legs crossed, chin leisurely resting in the palm of her right hand. A dark goddess ready to do whatever it took to get her way. He stopped at the steps of her dark throne, looking up at her passively. Hel remained silent. She let her eyes travel over him. Her soldier had put on muscle since the last time she had seen him. Then she looked in his face. His face was a mask of endured pain and the knowledge that there was more pain to come in the near future. Hel felt her cold heart melt slightly for her precious soldier, even if she refused to let it show outwards.

"Well, well, well," Death drawled. "Look what we have here. The lost son has returned. What's the matter?" The soldier remained right where he stood, head slightly bowed, long hair now obscuring part of his face. Hel narrowed her eyes. _That's not like him. He's never defied my picking on him?_ And then rage began to boil in her veins. _What did those puny mortals do to him? How dare they break my soldier!_

Hel rose from her throne. Bucky winced. He was obviously expecting her to punish him in some way for whatever he thought he had done to wrong her. The young woman paused. "Brave soldier mine," she spoke softly, "Come to me. Come up here." Even now, with the direct order from her, he hesitated. "I promise, I won't hurt you." Bucky glanced up at her through his long strands.

Apparently, he saw nothing that could cause him distrust of her person, since he slowly ascended the steps to her throne a few heartbeats later. He only paused once he was as tall as her – even if he stood three steps below her. Carefully, as if dealing with a frightened animal, Hel reached out her hands. The hair under her fingers felt nothing like the soft locks she used to caress and braid if her soldier allowed her to. "What have they done to you?" It was more of a rhetorical question. Obviously, whoever had claimed Winter did not particularly care for his exterior or well-being. Hel's aura flared dangerously, stretching around her, wrapping her and her soldier in an icy sheet. Bucky didn't react, lost in his own world.

"Why did you draw back from me?" Hel finally asked him, tugging one of his strands behind his ear, even if it didn't stick. Her soldier didn't move a single muscle, but the young woman remained quiet. Death knew to bid her time.

"I didn't," he paused, "I couldn't let you," he halted. Hel kept stroking his greasy hair. Finally, Bucky looked up at her. She sucked in a breath. Those pretty steel-grey eyes! They were haunted and broken and distant and she couldn't believe the mortals had brought it to breaking her magnificent soldier beyond recognition.

"I think I saw him," Bucky choked out. "And I think – I think, I killed one of his friends. Again." Green pools widened in pure shock. _Oh, by Helheim! How dare they! It was bad enough the last time, but again? Not even I would be that cruel._

"I'm sorry, if I upset you," Bucky murmured, drawing back. Hel tightened her grip slightly before she allowed him to retreat. "You could never upset me, brave soldier mine," she assured him. "It is the mortals keeping you prisoner. They need to be punished. Severely. By my hand and mine alone."

"Please don't let them make me hurt him!" Bucky stared at her with tears brimming his eyes. "I don't want to hurt my best friend! I don't even know, if he's still alive." Hel snatched his hand and turned them until Bucky sat on her throne, slumped over in the dark seat. He looked lost, even in a slightly too small throne. "I have a confession to make." Hel kneeled down in front of him. Tenderly she brushed his long strands out of his face, caressing the shade of a beard he had grown. "It's a wonder you can see anything with those tresses," she mumbled more to herself than him. Bucky looked up and for the briefest of seconds she thought she saw the old twinkle return to his eyes before they were stomped out again. Death sighed heavily.

"I saved him. I saved him the same way I saved you. He nose-dived into the arctic – and froze. So, I took his soul with me until they would rediscover his body. That wasn't until very recently." Betrayal flashed in Bucky's eyes before that once again was stomped out. "Steven is your best friend, I know. But he wasn't even conscious while he was here. He was so sure, that he had died, that he lost his sight. Knowing he was here wouldn't have done you any good – which I know is not my place to decide."

The soldier stared up at his goddess mutely. Hel reached out once again, caressing his head as if he were a cat. "Neither of your souls was prepared to see the other again just yet. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. Steven was facing the problem of waking up seventy years after everything happened and then my father decided to make a grand entrance... It was all a bit much. Finding out you were alive this whole time might have just short-circuited him – and you as well for that matter. It would have complicated a lot of things." Looking for signs of malcontent, Hel settled herself on the armrest of her throne. She didn't say another word but reached for Bucky's long strands and wove them into an intricate braid to keep them out of his eyes.

Her soldier held still until she was finished. Then he rose to his feet and stepped down from the pedestal on which the throne stood. He looked around himself. A small alcove to the right became his new domicile. More flexible than a man of his stature should be, Bucky wound his body into the dark niche until all Hel could see was his dark crown of hair.

 _I hope I haven't lost him for good. I worked so hard and now they're both as ready as they'll ever be to meet each other again. Winter is strong._ Her eyes narrowed, then widened ever so slightly. _I can't sense Winter being under. That bastard must be becoming stronger, if Bucky can come to me while his body is still functioning somewhere out there._ Hel thrust her senses into the world of the living. She caught both soldiers in different locations but close enough to one another to meet again soon.

"Can you help me not to hurt him?"

Hel jumped at the sudden sound of her soldier's voice. Her dark hair whipped into her eyes as she turned to look at him. Bucky didn't meet her eyes, preferring to stare at the ground before his feet instead.

"Of course," was all she replied. Her soldier seemed to pause, as if something else was nagging him. "I will however not kill you to prevent that harm come to your friend." Hel crossed her arms over her chest. "You are just as important as him. I refuse to give up my brave soldier."

"But then I could stay with you forever."

Hel nodded her head. "You can, and you will stay with me forever, don't have any illusions about that. Just not yet. You have a life to live. Friends to make and friends to meet. If you did that, if you come back to me grey and wrinkled, then I'll take you back with pleasure. Then you'll be my personal guard." The young goddess gave him a stern look. "But until then you are to live out your life."

At that confession Bucky finally lifted his eyes from the stones. What he saw was the spitting image of a fierce warrior goddess. Hel's dark hair lightly curling around her as if imitating a fire: Calm for now, able to explode any minute. Her sunset-kissed eyes narrowed slightly, face set into a mask of determination, arms crossed over her chest. There was just no doubt, that this female was a true goddess. A goddess, that was on his side, a goddess that would kill without thinking twice, but not him. She was of the unshakeable opinion, that her soldier was destined for something greater in life. So they would wait. Wait and see.

Bucky did the only thing he could do. He nodded his head in affirmation of her statements and allowed Hel to come closer to him once again and pet his head. He was her brave soldier after all.


	4. Interlude

**CHAPTER 3**

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters except my own.

* * *

CHAPTER 3 Interlude

Hel tapped her foot slightly in annoyance. Sure, her soldier had told her about the incident itself, still he hadn't killed Steven's friend until about a day later. And with that, Hel found herself back on Midgard. With someone she shouldn't be talking to until a few years later.

"So," she tilted her head curiously, "Was it part of your plan to let Winter almost kill you? Or was that improvisation?" The man across from her merely raised his eyebrow in response. Then: "I did what I had to. Now, on to the deal."

"That's not how it works." Hel crossed her arms over her chest, knowing fully well it made her look sniffed. Probably like a miffed teenager considering her young appearance. "It works that I keep your soul or, which in your case would be more likely, delegate you to Valhalla. So give me one reason why I should bring you back to life."

The man shifted his pose slightly, looking between his body, still hanging on the machines, nurses rushing and trying to save what was lost. His dark eyes wandered over to the glass window. Three pale faces stared into his room. Each set in varying stages of disbelief and grief. Natasha was the first to whirl around on her heel and stalk out of the room.

Hel shot the man a sideways look. "Look what you did." She focused her whole attention on the man to tune out the sinking feeling in her chest. "Are you happy now?" The man didn't respond for a long time. He watched the scene unfold around him. His eyes shone with something akin to regret, but there was something else in his face. Something he didn't let show on the surface as freely. _The ever-stoic mentor,_ Hel almost sighed. _It's always the same and it doesn't always help._

He raised a hand to his left eye, rubbing over the only slightly scarred skin there. "Strange." It was enough to get across his meaning. Seeing with two eyes. A little gift Hel had decided to grant him without regards for any kind of rules that might or might not apply. _Natasha does have a high opinion of him. Least thing I can do is granting him one of his hidden wishes. Even, if he won't acknowledge it even to himself._

In front of them, Steve Rogers turned and left the room as well. Most likely to either find Natasha or the stick he had hid – or displayed – in one of the vending machines. That left only Agent Hill. A single tear traced down her cheek, but Maria wiped it away. Within the blink of an eye, she set her jaw and lifted her chin. A mask of stoic professionalism slipped over her features. Hel noticed the man next to her stiffen ever so slightly. _Now the hard part of the plan begins._

"Death has a way of reshuffling one's priorities," he said more to himself than Hel. Nevertheless, the young woman turned towards him. _And whose priorities are you reshuffling at the moment,_ she almost asked. Only to catch herself in the last moment in favour of playing the card of the untouchable goddess. "I'll see to it that you're revival goes without hitch. But do not ever play this trick again. I won't be so gracious then." Without even waiting for a response, she turned around and left the realm of the visible.


	5. Bucky

**CHAPTER 4**

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters except my own.

* * *

CHAPTER 4 Bucky

Hel returned to Midgard sooner than she had anticipated. With a furrowed brow she stepped closer to the edge of the building. Below her, Midgardians were screaming and scurrying everywhere. Up on the bridge the young goddess could make out Winter and friends as well as Natasha, Steven and another man. _Huh. He's new._ Hel tilted her head slightly. _Well, he probably won't survive long anyway._

She focused her attention back on Winter, who at the moment was handed a rocket launcher. "Oh no," Hel groaned. "They're going to ruin it all." With a deep sigh, she rubbed a hand across her forehead as Steven threw Natasha out of the way. The hit instead hit him square on the shield. The super toppled over, soldier over, shield and all – right over the side of the bridge. Right off the bridge into a driving bus that promptly collided with an approaching tow truck and fell on its side.

"That was so predictable," Hel muttered under her breath. Since until now no one was dying, the young woman settled down on the edge of the building overlooking the site of action. Lazily her eyes travelled back up to the bridge, noting that Natasha and the newbie started returning fire from behind cars. Winter reloaded his weapon with deadly calm, aiming for Natasha.

The assassin leapt over the edge onto the other lane of the highway, dodging cars and bullets that Winter's friends fired at her. Of course, Winter himself only reloaded again and fired his rocket launcher at a standing car, which prompted the Black Widow to jump off the bridge. Hel appreciated the hook the older woman used to let herself down to safety, nodding her head along slightly. _She is good at tactics. The training really shows. As harsh as the methods of the Red Room were, they knew what they were working towards._

Hel kicked her legs back and forth as she watched Natasha run for cover, Winter following her down, keeping his focus calmly on the assigned targets. Or what Hel and Bucky assumed were his targets since neither of them had been present during his defrost. _He really should not be able to leave when Winter is awake. That bastard is getting stronger. I'll have to do something about it soon._

A crash rang through the street, drawing Hel from her thoughts. Natasha had seen Winter awaiting her coming out from under the bridge and had used that knowledge to shoot him – directly in the face. "Ouch, that must have hurt," Hel said to herself. Up on the bridge she saw Winter dropping behind the rim and remove his goggles. "Now he's going to be pissed." The singsong in her voice might have unsettled anyone hearing it, but alas, there was no one on the roof to see the young woman sitting on the edge, her legs kicking precariously above the abyss.

Down below, Winter fired again at Natasha's hiding place. Only, she had already changed position yet again to seek cover behind the bus. From there they continued shooting at each other until Natasha seemed to decide it was time to lure him away from his friends, who had enough weapons to keep shooting for another few hours. "Not a bad idea," Hel mumbled to no one in particular. "Keeps it definitely more interesting."

Natasha seemed to conclude that it was getting a bit too interesting. She turned her back and ran from the other assassin. _If only she knew, who he truly is… Maybe then she'd think differently about it all. Maybe she wouldn't have shot him in the face to shut him up._ Hel brushed her hair behind her shoulder.

A movement caught her eye aside from Natasha's retreat. Something black was falling off the bridge. The young woman turned to look at it and found Winter strutting down a car, weapon resting against his shoulder. He still wore the muzzle; his hair unbound, and eyes already fixed back on his target. "His friends are going to fire at the bus to get to the Captain," Hel mused. With a sigh she jumped back to her feet. "I just had to promise my soldier to keep him safe, didn't I? Such a bother."

Without further ado, Hel flung herself off the roof of the building in a somersault. The wind caught her long tresses, whipping it back as the young goddess plummeted to the ground. Her magic caught her before she hit the pavement, wrapping itself protectively around her. To ensure she would not be targeted, Hel made herself invisible. She growled heavily as the bus came near and Winter's friends fell down from the bridge. "Don't you dare. I need him for my plan. This is my pawn. Back off."

Taking a sprinting start, the young woman skidded into the bus itself. Fortunately, all civilians had deserted it already. Only the Captain himself was left. Without his shield. _Oh great. No cover from any bullets whatsoever. You think you're such a special little snowflake, huh? I can see why my brave soldier would be sick and tired of your antics. A nose-dive into the arctic and now this? Very clever, Captain. Very clever indeed._

From outside Hel could already hear the clicking of guns. Luckily the Captain seemed to recognize the sound as well and started running towards where his shield had fallen. Under Hel's protection from the bullets. At least partially. It had to be inconspicuous.

She followed him out into the open – and went down on Winter's friends. The first didn't even know what happened, the second at least attempted to fight her. Hel quickly grabbed him by the neck and turned visible for just the briefest of moments, not even bothering to conceal her true form.

"Hello soldier," she purred. The sudden fear in his eyes fuelled Hel's pride. Quicker than the eye could follow, she snapped his neck. "Farewell soldier. Maybe we'll see each other again." _Hopefully not. I don't like these obedient mutts. They're no fun at all. Always so serious._ She shoved the soldier away from her and out of sight. No one should know the goddess of death was present. Not even her soldier. _He already knows I'm here anyway. I hope, he's ready to fight Winter. Otherwise I won't be able to keep him. He loses the fight, he loses himself._

Hel turned on her heel, glancing up at the bridge. _Huh, newbie still alive. Not bad. Winter's friends are not quite sane. Maybe I'll get him into my collection someday._ Hel twirled a strand of dark hair around her finger as she thought about her collection of burned souls with hearts of gold. Thought, about how she had to set them up in this life to get them to her in one piece.

Gunshots rang through the street followed by screams; Midgardians fleeing in panic from Winter and the fight he brought with him. Hel tipped her head back with a groan. "Can't you just overcome him already? It's getting old. I do want new souls in my realm but not those Midgardians stinking of fear. Those are honestly just plain boring." She bared her teeth in an annoyed snarl. Not all of Winter's friends were dead and neither were many of the Midgardians uninvolved in the whole affair.

The young goddess shifted her weight and started to jog towards the fight. _I wish I could use a portal… But I'd rather not have to deal with another bullet wound because I popped up at the wrong moment. Those are nasty. Itchy for weeks. Not deadly, but a pain in the ass. So… Mortal way. Walk. Great._

"Don't you dare kill each other until I'm there boys."

* * *

When Hel finally arrived at the scene, Winter and Steven were locked in a deadly fight of knives, shields and killer gymnastics. The closer she came, the clearer Death could hear her soldier's cries inside his own head, even if nothing of it showed on Winter's face. Bucky clawed at Winter, trying to force him to remember his best friend, who was standing _right in front of them you big meathead! Just let me take the wheel for once. I don't want to kill him! He's our best friend!_

Hel's nose twitched, and she detected a tinge of blood in the air. "No," she gasped. Without wasting another thought on the fighting super soldiers – they could keep each other at bay a little longer, right? – she rushed a few cars over to where Natasha crouched, hand pressed to a bleeding wound.

The assassin startled slightly when Hel materialized right in front of her out of seemingly nowhere. "Are you alright?"

Natasha blinked in confusion. "This is not-"

"Just answer my question."

"I'm fine. Just a little hole the Winter Soldier decided to give me. Probably shouldn't have tricked him. Nothing to worry." Natasha pressed down on the bleeding harder. Hel growled deep in her throat, her illusion flickering in and out as she felt anger take over her senses. How dare Winter harm her prized possession? Her favourite mortal. "How dare he," Hel raised her head, staring at the fighting soldier with blazing eyes. Then she turned back to Natasha, eyes softening in an instant. "Don't worry, I'll take care of it." She shoved the rocket thrower Winter had dropped into Natasha's direction before she stalked back towards Winter.

As if on cue, Steven hurled the Winter Soldier over his shoulder, ripping off the mask in the process. Hel heard Bucky cry out, still caught inside his head. He cursed Winter for making him fight his best friend, for hurting so many people without a care in the world. Hel paused in her steps a few feet away, invisible to the world once again, arms crossed over her chest. _This should be fun_ , she thought. _The grand reveal. Finally, what we've all been waiting for. This should give my soldier enough of an excuse to start clawing his way back up again._

"Bucky?"

The Captain sounded honestly shocked to find his best friend in front of him – and alive at that. Hel felt a small grin tug at her lips. If only Bucky could just surface already so these two would be reunited again. But one look in his face was enough to tell Hel that no, Winter was still very much in charge. Confused by the screams in his head, the memories flung at him in rapid succession and the guy in front of him obviously knowing him, but in charge none the less.

"Who the hell is Bucky?"

Hel slapped her hand against her forehead. _Of all the things to say. This is what you come up with? Really Winter? That all you got? Oh, by the Norns! This is so not how I planned this. I thought –_

Her train of thought was rudely interrupted when the newbie, to her great surprise now with mechanical wings strapped to his back, kicked Winter in the head and sent him tumbling over the pavement. _He had wings? The whole time?_ Hel stared at the newbie in disbelief. _Why didn't he use them sooner? Maybe that would have helped? Like, before Winter shot my favourite?!_

Newbie came to a stumbling halt somewhere behind the Captain. _Ah. New equipment. That explains a lot. Well then,_ Hel turned back towards Winter. _About time I take things into my own hands then, huh._

She flung up her powers to slow time, as she would do just before she whisked away her new subjects. There was a reason for the belief that time slowed before death. Because it did. And just like all her subjects-to-be, Winter looked utterly lost when he noticed everything around him slow.

His eyes landed on Hel, as she approached him with swaying hips, her soft leather boots quiet on the pavement. As natural as water rippling over stones in a river, she pulled the first layer of her illusions aside. And from his widened eyes she could tell, Winter had not counted on meeting a half girl half corpse being. At least not today.

"Don't you think we've played enough for one day?" Hel put one hand on her hip. "You don't want to kill anymore, remember? You told me so yourself."

"Who are you?"

Hel chuckled to herself. It was no merry sound, her mismatched eyes dangerously narrowed. "I am no one of importance. At least not to you, Winter." Within the blink of an eye both the smile and illusion faded, leaving Hel in all her blue-skinned, sun-kissed glory before the startled thing. "Now quit the games and come to your guardian, brave soldier mine." Her command rang out, echoed between the lifeless walls of the stilled street. "Come forth and claim, what is rightfully yours."

A shudder ran through Winter. As he opened his eyes again, they were no longer the cold eyes of Winter but were replaced with the haunted expression Bucky now wore. "Hel," he rasped. "I can't fight him off for long. He's too strong. Can't make him remember everything."

"Then take it slow. Stay in his conscious, feed him information about your friend, about your life, your past." Hel heard the quiver in her own voice. "Make him write it down if you have to. I'll even give you your notebooks. Anything you can remember will stay with you, if only you write it down, Bucky." His head snapped up at the use of his name. Hel stared her soldier down with red eyes. "Don't you ever dare lose yourself to him again so completely," she snarled. "I promised you a future. Family and friends. And if he," the young woman thrust a hand in the Captain's direction, "Isn't both of that then I don't know who is. So, by my realm, get your act together. You withheld those bastards for so long, don't you dare let them win now. I didn't choose a weakling to be my champion."

Bucky blinked at the goddess in surprise. She, again, was the spitting image of a warrior. Long hair tousled from jumping and running around, red eyes ablaze with an inner fire, a determination to keep him alive. Even against his explicit will it appeared. Hel lowered her chin slightly; a move that would make her look devious had she worn her father's smirk but now made her look like a predator on the hunt.

After another moment of silence, Bucky slowly nodded his head. "Okay. I'll do my best. I'll stay on top of him." His eyes told Hel that he was expecting a lot of pain to come from this. On the other hand, she had never promised him it would be an easy task to reclaim his body, his life.

"I know you can do it." Hel stepped closer to him. A smile graced her lips. A genuine smile, that lit up her sunset eyes in the prettiest way possible. "You are my brave soldier after all. There is nothing you can't do." Bucky didn't say anything, only leaned down for the briefest of hugs with Death he had never imagined of having. "Thank you, for keeping me save," he told her sincerely. "Thank you for everything."

"Don't thank me too early," Hel cautioned. "You still have to get out of this and by the look of it, you're going to get blasted with your own weapon really soon. So, get out of here, stay on top of them and don't dare lose yourself." And quieter she added: "You're the closest I'll ever get to a real best friend."

Bucky opened his mouth to answer her, but Hel stepped back quickly, vanishing into invisibility once again. Time sped up once more. Winter came back to control most of his body. He looked to the right side, as if to check, if something was there or remembering something. Not even Hel was able to tell. And then conditioning kicked in and he raised his weapon to shoot his best friend.

Up on the nearest roof, Hel watched with calm eyes as Natasha fired the rocket launcher at Winter and he disappeared in the cloud of smoke that followed. "Good luck, brave soldier mine," she whispered. "The hardest part is yet to come."

Sometimes it was really annoying to be right.

* * *

They had strapped him down. Again. During the fight with the man on the bridge something had happened to his arm. The metal one. The machine. The weapon.

He looked straight ahead, ignoring both, the scientist prodding his arm and fixing it, as well as the armed forces placed in a circle around the isolated room. No one bothered looking him in the eye. They were too busy with repairing their weapon.

His mind's eye replayed the scene on the highway and the fight. Replayed the moment, that man had addressed him. That strange man that seemed to know him? From where? A voice in the back of his head was screaming at him to remember something. Remember more? _Bucky!_

His thoughts stumbled over fragments of things half remembered. Snowy mountains. The feeling of falling. Then cold. So very cold. He knew those memories. They were the oldest he could ever find in his scattered mind. But now, something new rose to the surface, pushed by that voice and the man. He forced himself to stay pliant as another memory flooded his senses. No, he didn't need to force himself. He was trained – tortured – into letting them do however they pleased.

A train. Going fast through those same mountains. And that man. Scared blue eyes flashed before his mind's eye. That man calling out. His name. Pleading? Surprised? Reaching for him. _Bucky!_

He stared ahead, scrambling to find the right word. The scientist still fixed his arm. No one talked to him. The room was eerily quiet save for the clattering instruments needed for the repair. Another memory rose. After the feeling of falling. Pain. Pain in the arm that now was metal. Was that even possible? Feeling pain in dead material? But that he could remember with searing clarity. Always had.

Pain from cutting off the stump of his arm. Searing through his veins relentlessly for days.

Pain from infusions knocking him out. Headaches when he awoke.

Pain from whatever they had made his metal arm of. Burning pain.

Then bouts of rage. A caged animal rebelling.

Then cold again. They froze him! _Bucky?_

Instincts he didn't know he had flared to live. The scientist had no chance, the metal arm ripped from his grasp, flesh fist connecting with his jaw in a solid smack. It sent him flying right into the next corner of the room. Weapons turned on him, ready to shoot should he move a single muscle. But the soldier remained as still as a statue in his seat. Merely the rapid rise and fall of his chest gave away that he was alive. His gaze drifted in and out of focus.

* * *

Across the room, invisible to the surrounding mortals, Hel crossed her arms over her chest. She didn't like being here again. In another lab. Another experiment on her soldier. _It's surprising none of them died a spontaneous death yet_ , the goddess mused darkly. _Some heart attacks in this kind of setting wouldn't be too surprising._

She shifted her eyes to the approaching figures without turning her head. To be honest, the spontaneous outburst of Bucky in Winter had been quite amusing. Still, it was no guarantee for him to return fully within a foreseeable amount of time. Not when the monster himself stepped into the room, flanked by soldiers and more doctors.

Her lips curled in a disgusted snarl at the stench of fear practically radiating off of some of them. _Wrong work place, if you're deciding to be a precious little cupcake._

A cruel smile twisted her lips. Maybe those could die of a spontaneous heart attack? Or maybe they'd suddenly see hallucinations of an ancient demon – half human half corpse?

The man leading, Hel never bothered to learn his name, motioned for his men to lower their guns. He walked with the air of someone, who was used to being obeyed. Without even a greeting or something the like, he pocketed his glasses in front of her soldier.

"Mission report."

 _Urgh. No sense for politeness. At least, he can make somewhat of an entrance. Even, if Dad could make it better. A lot better._ Hel shifted her weight to one foot, arms moving to clasp behind her back. The last thing her soldier now needed was her interference. He needed to concentrate on making Winter feign innocence. Feign he didn't regain his memories. Not when he was so close to the surface, Hel could almost see him behind the soldier's still slightly unseeing eyes. _Completely unseeing. Why are his eyes unseeing, when both of them are in there?_

The silence stretched. Winter didn't react to the order. And Bucky seemed at a loss of what to do with a body as still as a marble statue. Hel shifted her stance, brows furrowing. The commander seemed to be getting impatient as well, as he repeated: "Mission report. Now."

Still no response. Just a pretty soul with scars criss-crossing over his shoulder and chest sitting in a chair made for torture. Staring into space. Lips slightly parted, as if he was talking in his mind but no word came out. "That's not – Come on Bucky," Hel growled. "Don't blow your cover!"

He didn't even flinch as the man ordering his tortures stepped even closer. Invading the soldier's personal space with the air of normalcy that had Hel baring her teeth. No one was allowed to act like that with another human being. This man was clearly overstepping his boundaries on a daily basis and no one dared to speak up to him. The snarl turned into a growl low in the goddesses' throat at the slap her soldier received for failing to respond to the order. But she forced herself to stay still, letting her magic bind her feet to the floor to avoid intersecting with a situation she was not allowed to mess with. This was Bucky's responsibility. There was nothing Hel could do.

Winter quickly recovered from the slap, obviously returned to reality. Although his hair obscured half his face, Hel saw the frown flitting over it. _I'm going to make him cut that hair as soon as he's back to himself. This is just ridiculous. Chest waxed but hair a mess. Strange priorities these people have._ Her dark gaze wandered through the room, taking in the armed guards and careful scientists. No one seemed particularly fond of the situation they were in.

His voice was so soft, she almost missed it. "The man on the bridge." Winter's voice rang with uncertainty. With the knowledge that whatever he did, he would not get out of it unscathed. "Who was he?"

Hel's eyes widened. No. No this couldn't be happening. This was not supposed to happen. Bucky should have taken the helm, taken back his body so far that he could disclose that piece of information from Winter, while still keeping it in his memory. "You weren't supposed to ask this … this monster about Steve!"

The commander's shoulders tensed ever so slightly. Then, "You met him earlier this week on another assignment." Fair enough of an explanation. He could leave it at that. Easy way out.

Only Winter for once seemed to feel the defiance Bucky had shown all those years ago. "I knew him." His steely blue eyes focused exactly in the direction where Hel stood invisible to all mortals. "Is this really the time to be giving me signs?" Hel sighed softly. She scrubbed a hand over her eyes. Somehow Death suddenly felt the human years she had survived, seen people die, suffer, succumb to darkness. She had walked among mortals long enough to know enough. This was a man with nothing left to lose – in his eyes. _Damn, Winter. You're not making this easy on either of us._

The look he threw her had a plea hidden under the surface. Defiance against his captors, indifference towards his own safety and a plea for Death to finally claim him. Winter was provoking his handlers on purpose. And Hel hated every second of it.

As the commander sat down in front of him, clearly not intending to leave any time soon, Winter shrunk in on himself. Eyes back to blank pages. The less he displayed the less they had to go by to hurt him, disassemble and reassemble him. _Don't you dare. I will never forgive you, if you give up now._

"Your work has been a gift to mankind," the man calmly explained.

"You were forced to become a weapon with no sense of self-sustenance or regard to your own good have brought us so many deaths of enemies unwanted," Hel hissed like a furious cat.

"You shaped the century," he went on, ignoring any and all signs of discomfort Winter gave off.

Hel bared her teeth, glaring holes into the back of the monster's head, still translating for her soldier. "You became a myth feared among the underworld. Now everyone will just agree and work with us, just because we allude to you." Her nails dug sharply into the balls of her hands. She wouldn't be surprised, if she drew blood.

"And I need you to do it one more time."

"Kill your best friend. Captain America, the epitome of hope in times of darkness. Cut off the last remaining threat connecting you to what makes you you," Hel spit out the words as if they were poisoned. No one could hear her anyway. Except maybe for Bucky locked away in his own head behind the façade of Winter. Of a mindless weapon.

Winter had the decency to look away in slight unwillingness. Albeit not for long and the disinterest of the commander in this action was blatantly obvious. The man just went on, proclaiming Winter's use to him, as if it was the truth of the century.

"Society's at a tipping point between order and chaos. And tomorrow morning we are going to give it a push."

Winter still hesitated. Face now clearly showing distress. Bucky was clawing at his mind, screaming and thrashing against the bars of his cage with just the memory of Steve calling his name.

"If you don't do your part, I can't do mine. And HYDRA can't give the world the freedom it deserves."

Hel saw her soldier fell the decision. It wasn't a quick movement of his eyes or a shift in the muscles coiled tightly under his skin. No. The signs were all there in plain sight for everyone in the room to see. The prized weapon was disobeying direct orders, questioning them outright. It didn't matter that Winter was not orally expressing his doubts. One look in his face was enough to assure you of it. And Hel hated him for it with a fiery passion. "Don't you-"

It was already too late.

"But I knew him."

Hel screamed at that. She knew what was coming. She knew it.

"Prep him" was the demand following suit.

They were going to destroy her soldier after all. There was nothing she could do. Not with all these people around. Not with Bucky finally back in his mind and a scoop to slide through to the front. It could ruin everything she strived so hard for over the past seventy years.

"But he's been out of cryo freeze for too long."

Her soldier lowered his eyes, almost looking as if he was about to cry. His body preparing for the inevitable. He had done the math as Hel had. There was only one outcome to this.

"Then wipe him and start over."

"No!" The scream ripped from Hel's throat with an inner rage she didn't know she possessed. "Don't you dare touch him! He's mine!" Forgetting she had magicked her feet to the spot, the young goddess wanted to spring forward, hands outstretched towards her soldier – only to fall flat on her face without any chance of catching herself. "Don't dare hurt him. You'll kill him. And then what good could he be to you?!"

None of the present mortals heard her. Not even Winter seemed aware of her presence anymore. The soldier was obviously preparing himself for what was to come. Still, he startled as the iron clamps closed around his arms, locking him in place.

"Don't hurt him! He won't survive it. He's not that strong!" Something wet slid down Hel's cheek. Crying. She was crying for her soldier. "Bucky!" she called out without thinking just as the chair was tipped backwards. Her voice was shrill with panic. By Odin's beard, his breathing was already erratic.

Somehow her mind cleared with the first of his cries. She undid the magic binding her feet to the ground. Without any thought to her surroundings, she scrambled to her feet and towards the screaming man. But neither did she understand the machines he was tortured by nor did she have the capability to just materialize or free him with magic.

"Bucky… Bucky. Bucky!" Her voice was soft, raw from screaming. Her soldier didn't respond. He writhed in his trap, baring his teeth and screaming.

Without thinking, Hel reached out and cradled his head in her hands. She stroked down his cheeks wherever she didn't have to touch the contraption. "Shhh," she cooed. "Everything will be alright." A tear slid down her left cheek. "Hang on. Please hang on." Neither Bucky nor Winter gave any indication that he had heard her. "It always gets worse before it gets better." He screamed, muffled by the gag. _Gagged like an animal. Treated like an object. Decisions made as if he was an insolent child. This is no way to treat any living being._

Hel felt her tears cease to flow. She watched as her hands fell away from her soldier. He gave a pitiful whimper she doubted anyone heard between his louder cries of agony. _Even if. Who would care about it?_ Her hair was picked up by a supernatural wind, strands whipping around her face as her pain turned into hatred.

Steps announced the commander and his crew leaving their weapon to the torture. Hel's body snapped around, illusions falling off her like old clothes. Only the invisibility remained to shield them from the wrathful goddess of death standing protectively over her soldier. The curse fell from Hel's lips in a melodious voice unbefitting of its content.

 _"May thou hark the banshee cry. Thou shall feel the hellhound's bite. Hellhounds hound thee infinite. Till crows feast 'pon thy chest. Thy lifeless eyes tribute to best, to Garm for letting pass thy rest. To darkness all encompassed. Helheim's darkest pit reserved for souls bare of an ounce of truth."_

It felt as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Hel took a shuddering breath, staring after the men with piercing eyes.

Then her eyes snapped back to her soldier, writhing on the chair in pain and helpless against whatever mechanical monstrosity they had him strapped to. Instantly her heart shattered once more. "What have they done to you?" she stared down at her writhing soldier. Tears ran from the corners of his eyes. Teeth bared in a scream of pure agony.

Carefully, Hel reached her hands out towards his cheeks, cupping them and ignoring he sharp electronic shocks she felt tingling over her skin. "Oh, my sweet soldier mine," she murmured sorrowful. "What have they done to you? Why didn't you pretend? It would have been so much easier to just pretend…" Bucky screamed again. Hel's ears rang from the sound. Her chest constricting strangely.

She combed a hand through his sweat slick hair, trying to comfort him best she could. _There is nothing I can do. I'm a goddess. I should be able to do something! And here I am. Useless!_

That's when she heard the scream of Bucky in her head echoing the scream Winter released into this chamber of torture. An idea formed in Death's head. A bit desperate, but it might just work to her advantage. Without thinking it through to the end, Hel leaned down towards his ear, hidden underneath the contraption around his head.

"Sleep," she whispered. "You've been brave enough, soldier mine. It's time to go to sleep." _That might give you a chance to reclaim your mind from Winter._

Slowly, Winter's eyes fell closed. His teeth still gritted over the gag between his jaws. His fists subconsciously clenching and unclenching. But his mind was asleep for now. Unaware of the horrors going on around him. The scientists would assume he fell unconscious from the pain. _Hopefully that'll stop them from continuing this… And hopefully Bucky is still as much my soldier as I remember him to be._

Death leaned over her soldier one last time. "You're so much stronger and braver than you ever give yourself credit for. I know you can pull through this." She forced a shuddering breath down. "If not for me, then do it for him. He's waiting for you. Don't make me seem like an ass for making that promise to the both of you."


	6. Mission

**CHAPTER 5**

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters except my own.

* * *

CHAPTER 5 Mission

"If they're shooting at you, they're bad."

 _By Odin's beard_ , Hel slapped the heel of her hand against her forehead. This was not exactly how she had planned their reunion after Winter's mission on the highway. _This is developing into my personal nightmare_ , she scrubbed the hand down her face. Unfortunately, the Captain very much retained his head-through-the-wall approach from his early days. Resulting in a revolt at SHIELD HQ with his friends fighting or supporting him. _Declaring war on an entire organisation. You'd love how your best friend turned out, Bucky. Still the same, only the scales changed._

Heaving a sigh, Hel stepped up to the ledge where the superheroes had disappeared just seconds before. _I'd love to settle down and just watch this chaos unfold. The Valkyries streaming in to collect all these pitiful mortals, dying for what they deem the truth._ A disgusted expression twisted her lips into a frown. _Pathetic._

That's when the first explosions rang out overhead. "Seems he found the bad guys," Hel mused, now grinning slightly. She watched the newbie twist and fly his way out of the missiles shot at him in rapid succession. His wings made him more flexible in the air than being in one of the cursed metal traps humans used to fly. But Death had to admit, the newbie with his wings did catch her off guard. _I honestly didn't expect him to be as good a marksman and pilot as he is._ She tilted her head slightly, feeling the wind pick up her hair. _Maybe he'll survive long enough to become one of mine…_

Shots rang out, people screamed, beautiful chaos was unfolding below her. Hel settled down on the ledge to braid her hair back. She would need all her concentration. While she trained with her hair open, it was ill advised to allow any kind of distraction in the proximity of Winter. A soft tune fell from her lips, while the young goddess kept a sharp eye on the proceedings of the Captain and his friend towards the helicarriers. _Not long till they will release their secret weapon. Who else could they pitch against Steven better than his best friend? He'll refuse to fight him like the sentimental idiot he is…_

The goddess tied the end of her braid with a piece of fabric she found in her pocket. Below her, the fight was still raging on. No Valkyries had arrived as of yet, but that wasn't entirely suspicious. Hel stretched her back, feeling the bones and muscles moving under her skin. "Well then." She took a deep breath. "Let's find Winter and pry him away for good."

Without any preamble, Hel tipped forward. The wind caught her clothes as they melted around her, forming her armour. With a roll she came to her feet at the bottom. "Now where's that soldier of mine?" A sudden scream from the sky caught her attention. The newbie was spiralling out of control, his wings apparently broken. Hel raised a single brow. "That was easier than I anticipated." The newbie crash-landed on one of the roofs, out of sight. When Hel looked back to where he had fallen, Winter had already disappeared from sight. "He's a ghost," she murmured to herself, a mocking grin on her lips. "Or, he was."

* * *

With one of her portals, the young goddess landed in the right metal contraption to find her soldier and his best friend engaged in a heated battle. Or at least some sort of show-down-to-be, since, at the moment, they were only standing opposite each other and staring. _How long have they been doing this?_

"People are going to die, Buck."

 _Not that long apparently. Great. I'll get the full speech from a front-row seat._ Hel reinforced her invisibility to avoid being spotted by her soldier. _Let the Captain do his job. Encouraging people. Saving the day. Being a superhero._

"I can't let that happen."

 _Yes, very good. Sound reasoning._ Hel rolled her eyes. _Wonder, when that worked last time._

"Please, don't make me do this."

 _They're still staring at each other. Aren't they supposed to, like, fight or something? This staring each other down with brooding looks and grand speeches is seriously overrated._ Her eyes darted between the two soldiers. _And Winter doesn't look all that interested…_

Hel settled down on one of the bars high above them, dangling her feet. A single green flame snaked over her fingers as she watched the exchange. After all, who was she to endanger her brave soldier by injuring Winter?

And suddenly everything happened at once. A slight lowering of his chin and a hardening of baby blue eyes was all the warning the soldier got, before the Captain hurled his shield.

 _Wow. Predictable much?_ As if in reaction to her thoughts, Winter caught the shield and threw it right back. A quick succession of hits and kicks followed in which Winter was shoved backwards towards the control panels. He pulled a knife from its hidden holster, teeth bared in an animalistic growl.

"Mh, sexy." A new voice drawled. "I can see, why your ladyship might be tempted to keep that one. Or both. Your business."

Hel's head snapped up to find another divine female next to her. "Valkyrie," she growled. "Those are mine." The woman raised her eyebrows with a mocking smile. "Do not worry, Lady Hel," she said. "I am perfectly aware of that. Besides," the Valkyrie threw a short glance at the still fighting males a few metres below them, "They're not exactly my type." Hel heard the unspoken words perfectly clear: _Don't worry your pretty little head over it. I'm not that much into men._

Fittingly, a sound like a gong rang through the air as Winter hit the Captain's shield with his metal fist. As if announcing the next round to a wrestling match. Which, considering their positions, wasn't that far off for neither Hel and the Valkyrie nor for Winter and the Captain.

The young woman knew her eyes to be blazing with an inner fire. A fire, usually promising a slow death to enemies or endless torture to her subjects. _Does she think, she could fight me? Now?_ Hel watched carefully for any signs of hidden aggression or hints of mirth in the Valkyrie's eyes. Still, she came up empty. _Then on with the old game._

"Do you fancy your face?" Hel questioned. "I think it is quite pretty." However instead of the usual, 'Are you threatening me?', the Valkyrie questioned: "Are you trying to flirt with me?"

Hel was tempted to give her usual response anyway, but 'Depends' sounded too trivial. Instead, she rose from her sitting position. Making sure, her armour glimmered in the light coming in through the ridiculously large glass panes below them, the goddess of death stepped up to the Valkyrie.

"I'd be honoured to have one of the Valkyrior in my bed. Especially such a feisty warrior princess such as yourself, my dear Valkyrie." She reached out to play with a strand of chestnut brown hair of the other woman. It was immensely satisfying to note the sudden stiffness to the other's posture. "There is just one thing." Playing coy, Hel glanced up at her through her lashes. The Valkyrie looked appropriately stunned, but also slightly suspicious. Hel gave her brightest smile. "You're not my type," she purred with feigned regret. "I'm more into ghostly pale, exotic-eyed, dramatically passionate women. The play of black hair against sun-kissed skin is something I could never resist."

The Valkyrie blinked in surprise, then threw her head back laughing. "Not bad, my lady."

Hel however didn't react. Her ears had caught a cry and a body hitting the ground. Her head shot around. The Captain slid down a ramp, which had whatever purpose since it led into nothing, the chip to deactivate the helicarrier clutched in his hand. Winter slid after him with the grace of a wildcat on the kill.

"Oh my," Valkyrie mumbled, catching on to Hel's sudden disinterest in their banter. Below them, Winter hit the chip out of the Captain's hands. It fell over the edge and to the glass floor. In quick succession a resounding punch was delivered to Winter's chin, toppling him over the edge after it. Valkyrie made a sound of empathy. "That must have hurt."

Deep below the two women, the Captain ran for the chip – only to have his own shield thrown at the back of his neck. "Classy," Valkyrie observed. "Take what you got. Although this is not fair play."

Hel yearned to give the Valkyrie – she didn't even ask to be here! – a piece of her mind, but she found herself pre-occupied with watching out that neither of the boys got themselves killed. _Sometimes I hate my life._

"Well, at least he could shield himself from those bullets," Valkyrie commented above the sound of gunshots and general fighting. Hel grumbled.

Winter pulled another dagger from somewhere on him and went to attack the Captain. Fortunately, Steven wrestled him to miss his throat and thus kill him. If the oozing wounds that looked suspiciously like bullet wounds, now that Hel actually paid attention to them, might not have done the trick before. The knife embedded itself deeply into his shoulder. "Ouch," Valkyrie grimaced, "Those are nasty." Hel growled.

To Hel's slight surprise, Steven didn't let the gash in his shoulder bother him more than the bullet wounds. Instead, he lifted Winter clean off the floor by the neck. "Oh, come on!" Hel bared her teeth at the pair. "Don't kill each other now. I almost completed the deal. Besides," she threw a glance at the transfixed Valkyrie next to her. The woman was leaning forward, following the exchange with great interest, noticing every little movement and probably committing it to memory while she was at it. Her eyes had gained a hungry glitter. If she presented Odin in Valhalla with either of those soldiers, a place in the trophy halls would be her payment. Not only a formidable fighter at their prime, but a friend of Thor's and a scientifically enhanced supersoldier. _I hate Valkyries._

A cry drew her attention abruptly back to the soldiers. Winter was in a headlock by the Captain. "Marvellous execution," mumbled Valkyrie more to herself. And despite several warnings, Winter hadn't dropped the chip, so the Captain had dislocated his shoulder. Hel bared her teeth in a furious hiss. "You're not supposed to kill each other for Helheim's sake! This is supposed to be your reunion after seventy years of separation, anxiety and definitely too much fighting!"

"It ain't true love until you've tried to kill each other at least once."

Hel slowly turned her head to look straight at the Valkyrie. "They're not in love," she said matter-of-factly. Valkyrie shrugged: "If you say so."

Winter lost consciousness. The Captain grabbed the chip and made a run for the pillar leading up to the control device to install the chip and stop whatever evil plan was forged behind the scenes. _Maybe I should start investing more time into the lives of my collection beyond their survival…_ Hel furrowed her brows. _Wait…_

"Why are you even here?"

"It's a battle." Valkyrie shrugged again. "It is my duty to attend and collect the souls of the fallen warriors."

"Yeah, about that." Hel straightened back up. She levelled the other with a glare. "Those are mine. Hands off." The Valkyrie returned her aggression with a condescending smirk. "I am deeply sorry, Lady Hel. But it is my duty to collect able fighters, who lost their lives during battle for the Allfather. He enjoys their company immensely."

Hel growled at her. "Oh, I am sure he does. I'd be delighted myself to get new pawns to shove around in battles of immortals. And I sure would reward anyone bringing me those toys greatly." The goddess and Valkyrie stared each other down, seizing the others' powers and disadvantages, looking for openings to attack –

A shot rang out.

The trance was broken. Both women stared at the climbing Captain, who now had a wound colouring his trousers red. "Well that was just unnecessary," Valkyrie commented dryly. Hel sneered. "Thanks for the commentary. Now go bother someone else. They won't kill each other. They're friends since childhood."

Another shot.

"Are you sure about that, Lady Hel?" Valkyrie didn't even look at her!

"You know what?" Hel shoved the greedy Valkyrie away from the scene below them. "Why don't you get the Allfather a real present? I got him all packed and ready for you to collect. Only need to slap a bow on top and voilà." Valkyrie at least showed the decency to look suspicious of Loki's daughter. "Who is he and why would you give him to me willingly?"

"He tortured my soldier," Hel replied. "I cursed him and his men, but I suppose, we could strike a deal. He's a great tactician, planned this nice little battle you see going on. True evil genius." She narrowed her eyes ever so slightly. "I bet Odin would really love him." A too broad grin settled on Hel's lips in reaction to the growing disgust on the Valkyries face. _At least she distinguishes good from bad, huh. Well, I'm certainly not the bad guy in this story. But let her think that…_

"You are right. The Allfather would appreciate such a high-ranking tactician," Valkyrie responded carefully. "What are your conditions?" Hel let small flames of her magic lick up her back, playing with the ends of her hair just because she could. "Glad you asked. I will lift the curse off him, so you can claim him rightfully to bring to Valhalla. There are, however, two conditions." Hel formed her magic into a snake curling around her neck, stretching out towards the Valkyrie, whom she knew to have died of snake venom. Thus, her attention was instantly taken up by the magical poison-green snake.

"One, you and your kind will leave my chosen ones be. No collecting their souls or pre-maturely reaping them. No meddling with their destiny, let the Norns take care of that. Two, the bastard that hurt my brave soldier will spent hundred Midgardian years in my torture chambers. Every hundred years. Odin can do as he pleases with him during his time and I get to do the same during mine, no intervention from either side."

Hel levelled the wide-eyed Valkyrie with a dangerous stare. "Do we have an accord?" The young woman extended her right hand. The oath hand. Without looking away from the snake, the Valkyrie grabbed it with her own right hand. "Yes," she stuttered. "Yes, yes. One hundred years in each realm, switching, no intervention from either side. No touching your chosen heroes. Understood." They shook hands once.

"Very good!" Hel clapped her hands and the snake evaporated as quickly as it appeared. The Valkyrie blinked. "No, wait."

Hel grinned devilishly: "Too late. You already agreed to my conditions. I'll lift the curse for the first hundred years. Go and collect your reward at the main building. Probably somewhere high up. Pretending to be mighty."

Something heavy hit the helicarrier they were in. It rocked both Asgardians off their feet and parts of the construction collapsed. A cry like a trapped animal rang out. _Oh no._

Not letting her worry show on her face, Hel got up into a crouch opposite the Valkyrie. "Hurry, before one of your sisters snatches the prize before you," she said in a sing-song voice. With a look that read 'I hate you' the Valkyrie disappeared from sight to collect the bargained soul.

Hel peered over the ledge down to where her soldier supposedly was. Part of the glass panes in the floor were shattered, parts of the construction destroyed entirely. _Great. Why did I think I would get through this without Captain Nose-Dive setting something off without regards to his own well-being?_ She ran a hand over her face and hair. _I knew, why I donned the armour. Even as good as immortal as I am, getting stuck on that would be a pain in the ass._

Below her, Steven lifted an iron frame off her soldier's chest. The look in his eyes was still very much Winter. Even, if his friend didn't seem to want to acknowledge that. "Yeah, absolutely ignore the small fires around you," Hel caught a look at the outside, "or the fact, that we're basically crashing with a helicarrier in the middle of either water or some inhabited area. Which might be slightly bad, if I might add!"

Of course, neither soldier reacted to her. How could they, without seeing or hearing her? Hel threw her head back. As soon as Winter was back to his feet, he went back to attacking his former best friend. Hel scrubbed a hand down her face. "Great. That. Again." She jumped off her ledge and landed on the rubble that had almost crushed her soldier.

"You know me," Steven panted, lip bloodied from all the fighting and falling. Hel groaned: "No kidding."

Winter on the other hand merely retaliated by giving the Captain his left hook with the metal hand. "No, I don't!" he screamed full of rage.

Hel slid up to them, rolling her eyes. "That's was I expected." Even she heard how tired her voice sounded. How done with everything these two idiots got themselves into. Over each other! _Maybe that Valkyrie was right. Maybe they do love each other. Eh, what do I care? They're soldiers. Good soldier and brave soldier. And they have a right to be free._

Steven got back to his feet, still panting. "Bucky." Hel circled around, seeing the wide eyes of Winter and suddenly –

 _"I know him!"_

Death almost doubled over from the force the cry hit her. Bucky was starting to surface in the face of Winter beating his best friend up without regards to his survival. He was starting to fight back once again.

"You know me your whole life."

Winter hit Steven, who hurled to the floor in a twist. Somewhere, fittingly, an explosion happened. The descending of their helicarrier was slightly faster, which led Hel to the deduction that it must have been one of the engines. _Just my luck…_

For the soldiers it didn't seem to mean much however. Winter still breathed hard, blue eyes slightly wider and filled with more emotion than usual, Steven getting up again and again after each hit.

"Your name is James Buchanan Barnes."

"Shut up!"

Hel quietly followed them over the glass panes that weren't broken. _I have to admit, I admire Steven's persistence. Neither my father nor I would have taken this long to try and convince someone. Then again._ Her green eyes shifted over to the now visibly distraught Winter. _It seems to encourage Bucky. Give him fuel to fight against Winter's control…_

An idea shot through her head. But she needed to get closer to her soldier. Hel kept a watchful eye on both men, as Steven pulled off his mask and confronted Winter with the same face that had gotten him wiped the last time. Both stared at each other for a heartbeat, blood on their faces, eyes hunted with memories of days long since passed.

"I'm not gonna fight you," Steven proclaimed – and let his shield fall into the abyss below the helicarrier. Hel glanced down after it. "I am so not going to get that," she told no one in particular. She was already channelling her powers to aid Bucky in projecting his scattered memories of his life with Steven, of their shared past, with Winter. To make him finally see and retreat.

Meanwhile, Steven focused his serious gaze on Winter and, taking a deep breath, said: "You're my friend."

For a second, Hel almost thought that got him, that Bucky made it through to get back in control. His eyes were a bit clearer – then Winter gave an animalistic roar and pushed Steven over, positioning both of them over a broken glass pane. Staring down at the deeply hurt, still somewhat trusting eyes of his former friend, he proclaimed: "And you're my mission."

Without giving either Hel or Steven any chance to react, Winter punched the blond into the face with his metal arm several times. His repeated scream, as if reassuring himself of its truth, was almost drowned out by the ghastly sound of metal hitting flesh and bone. Hel was sure any other Midgardian would have been dead or at least in a coma by now. Fortunately, Steven was no mere mortal, so he could still somewhat look up at his friend. Bloodied and swollen as his face was, he still managed to breathe out one last sentence, as winter kneeled above him. Poised to strike one last time.

"No!" Hel sprung forward, finally able to get close to Winter without the danger of getting hit in the flurry of his movements. She grabbed onto the metal fist and held it there. Right above Steven's head. "Damn it all, Bucky! You were supposed to remember. Not beat him up!"

"Then finish it," Steven interrupted Death's concentration to get in contact with Bucky. "'Cause I'm with you. Till the end of the line."

"Yes," Hel murmured. "Come on Bucky. He delivered it right on a silver platter. Seize your chance and show Winter the memories. Show him! I know you're in there screaming. Now get back in control." She clung on to the metal hand. Nothing happened. "For your own sake, get your act together." No reaction. _Maybe I was wrong? Maybe Winter just remembered Steven from the time before his last wipe? Bucky was pretty weak when I last saw him._ Still nothing. _By Thor's hammer I probably should have checked up with him before I came here. Made sure, he was able to wrestle Winter. Bucky is strong. The strongest I ever had, but so is Winter…_

A single cry pierced through her thoughts. A cry that was not her own or the outside world.

 _"Steve!"_

Hel almost sighed in relief when she heard Bucky's voice echo in her head. Bright, clear, determined. Broken. Hurt. But he was back in control. The metal arms slowly relaxed and lowered to his side. Steven was still staring up at his friend, probably unable to recognise all the emotions passing over his features and in his eyes with his face half swollen. Hel took a shuddering breath. "That was close. That was way to close. Brave soldier mine -"

Something collapsed and ripped the floor apart entirely. The last thing Hel saw of Steven and Bucky was the one tumbling down into a watery grave and the other hanging onto the helicarrier with one hand.

* * *

The young woman watched as Winter – Bucky – dragged Steven out of the water. She smiled slightly. _You saved him. You're back up now. No more icing, no more murder on their behalf. Just you and your friend. Just as I promised._

Bucky stared at the blond to his feet, making sure he was breathing. Then, he looked around and slowly walked away. He didn't go far. Just far enough, to be out of sight from any search parties, that might come looking for Captain America.

"Hel," his voice was rough. "Hel, can you hear me?" Hel threw him a gentle smile as she shed her invisibility. "Of course, brave soldier mine. I am always at your side." Bucky looked at her long and thoughtful. "It's been long since I last saw you," he murmured. Death's smile saddened slightly. "I know."

Bucky lowered his gaze, staring at the dirt close to her feet. "Are you taking me with you now?" His voice sounded so small, that Hel couldn't resist the urge to hug him. Carefully, the young woman draped her arms around him, deliberately ignoring the cold water seeping into her changed clothes. She also ignored how he stiffened in her arms before melting into the embrace, clinging to her like a lifeline. "No, brave soldier mine. Not yet. You have a life to live. The life I promised you. With your best friend."

"He won't want me anymore." Bucky curled more into her smaller body, trying to either disappear or fuse with her. Hel opted to stroke his wet hair soothingly. "You do realise that he risked his life on the notion that he believed in you? And he succeeded too," she admitted. "I could have never done what he did. Not without harming your soul in the process."

"I am nothing."

"No, you are not." Hel pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. "You are the bravest soldier I ever knew. You are my soldier. And I promise to be there for you until you can believe that yourself. You're stronger than any other Midgardian I encountered." She cupped his face, staring into his lost gaze. "You are everything."


End file.
